A Small Prayer

Oh, gods of fountain pens
I am but a weak, impulsive human
Please don't let me become interested in vintage Pelikans
I have a Lapis L.E., oh, gods
and it's a beautiful pen
And it's like a vintage Pelikan, isn't it?
Isn't that good enough?

But I've just received a beautiful book, oh, gods
"75 Years of Pelikan"
Lovely pictures of vintage pens
Gods, help me, help me resist
I want them, all of them, vintage Pelikans

But my wife, long-suffering,
with whom I have lived twenty-three years--
Husband and wife
Twenty-three years,
As of just yesterday,
and we lived in sin for five years before we were married,
that's a total of twenty-eight years,
oh, gods of fountain pens--
My wife, that wife, will kill me
And then divorce me
If I start collecting
vintage pens
I have so many modern pens, you see

So no vintage Pelikans, oh, gods
Please
It's a beautiful book
But, please, gods
Pictures only
Let me look at pictures only,
Let the pretty pictures make me happy
"75 Years of Pelikan"
Pretty pictures
Give me strength
(I already have a Lapis L.E.; it's like a vintage;
really, it's like a vintage Pelikan
so I don't need an authentic vintage Pelikan)
Hear my prayers; give me strength, help me resist
If I buy any more pens I'll have to sell a cat

(Give me strength and I'll join the PCA)

Amen

--Britt Leach